


Heat of the Moment

by binksybane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Shadow World Setting (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Kiss, First Time, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hurt Alec, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern | Sebastian Verlac Being an Asshole, M/M, Magnus Bane & Isabelle Lightwood Friendship, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Is A Freewheeling Bisexual, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Malec Monday, Multi, Sad Magnus, Shadowhunters AU Mondays, Supportive Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-22 01:51:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12470832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binksybane/pseuds/binksybane
Summary: Alec stared into Magnus' eyes. He had a choice to make... for once in his life, for the first time in his life, he needed to decide whether to take a risk and take something for himself or to go on as he'd always done - and let chances pass him by.





	1. Chapter 1

"No."  
  
"Come _on_ , Alec."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please? For me?"  
  
"Still no."  
  
"Damnit Alec! Seriously?"  
  
Alec sighed, closed his book, looked up at his brother. Jace wasn't his brother by blood, but they were brothers in every other way; as much as him and Max were brothers. Where he was dark - dark hair, dark eyes, Jace was light - light blond hair and blue eyes. They were as different as their appearance but they couldn't be closer in mind and heart.  
  
" _Why_ would I subject myself to an entire weekend stuck in a cabin somewhere with you and Fray? In what universe do I deserve such punishment?" Alec asked him.  
  
Jace rolled his eyes. "Don't be over dramatic. And it won't _just_ be me and Clary... she's bringing one of her best friends along."  
  
Alec raised an eyebrow. "Oh _excuse me_. A cabin, you and Clary, and one of her best friends? Let me think... NO! I couldn't think of anything _worse_." He turned his attention back to his book.  
  
Jace growled and threw his hands up in exasperation. "Alec _please_! Clary will only go if her friend comes along and I need you there so I can have _alone_ time with my girlfriend."  
  
"So basically you want me to play babysitter while you and Clary have all the fun?"  
  
"Gee Alec, ever thought you might maybe end up _enjoying_ yourself, and all you gotta go is take that stick outta your ass?" Jace sat on the bed, picked up the book Alec was reading, idly started flipping through it.  
  
Alec grabbed the book off Jace. " _If_ I say I'll go will you leave me alone?"  
  
Jace did a little mental victory dance. "Yes! And I'll never ask you for anything ever again."  
  
They both knew that was a lie. " _Fine_. But you _owe_ me bro. Now go away." Alec shooed Jace off the bed.  
  
"Woo-hoo! You won't regret this, Alec!" Jace called out as he left.  
  
"I already do." Alec mumbled.  
  
×  
  
Alec and Jace took turns driving up to Clary's family cabin. He wasn't actually having a bad time... so far. He loved New York but it was nice to be away from the hustle and bustle of city life every once in a while.  
  
He studied the cabin tucked back into the trees as he parked up. It was beautiful - two stories of dark wood with lots of glass that sparkled in the sunlight. A wide wrap-around deck carried on to the back of the building and he spied a large swing seat at the far end of the patio.  
  
He listened with half an ear to Clary chattering away. He would never have put Clary and Jace together but they fit perfectly, and above and beyond all that, he could see that she made Jace stupid happy. And that was what was important to him at the end of the day.  
  
"We've got the master, Jace. Mags will be here in a few hours so you get first pick of the rest of the rooms, Alec." Clary picked up her bag and pulled Jace inside.  
  
×  
  
Alec ended up picking the room at the furthest corner of the cabin. It was a spacious room with a big king sized bed dominating one wall. A lot of bed for _just_ him but it was the view out the window that sold him - true, he was a city boy down to the bone, but that didn't mean he couldn't appreciate nature and its beauty. And then go right back to the urban jungle that was home.  
  
There was a soft knock on his door. Alec didn't have to look to know it was Clary; Jace would never think of knocking, even if the door had been shut, he'd have just barged in. He turned around, and true enough, saw Clary standing in the doorway. "You need to teach your boyfriend to do that."  
  
"Do that? Oh, knocking?" She let out a laugh when Alec made like he was knocking on a door. "He only does it to you. He doesn't dare with Izzy in case he walks in in the middle of something. But I guess with you he knows that he won't... that is... I didn't mean-" She trailed off, going red as she realised what she'd said, and the implication.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Fray. He's not wrong." Clary saw Alec had gone a little sad but he was quick to cover it up. "So. What's up?" He turned away from her to carry on unpacking. Ingrained habit would never allow him to live out of his duffel - even for a weekend.  
  
"Oh well me and Jace are gonna head out, into town, for dinner and maybe drinks... you're welcome to join us if you want."  
  
"Appreciate the invite but I'm good." A night out with his brother (and Fray) sounded like it'd be fun, but he wasn't about to be the third wheel the entire night, _no thank you_.  
  
"Oh okay, well if you want us to bring something back for you, dinner or whatever... just let us know. Or the pantry is stocked up if you rather whip something up yourself." She stood there wringing her hands.  
  
"Is something wrong, Clary?" She looked nervous, Alec thought.  
  
"No, nothing. I just - I wanted to thank you for coming on this trip. I'm pretty sure this is the _last_ place you'd wanna be, but you came for Jace, because of me. So... thanks."  
  
Before Alec could reply footsteps came echoing down the hall and Jace appeared at his door. "C'mon Clary, lets go. See ya big bro, don't have too much fun without us!" Jace saluted him and pulled Clary out and downstairs. He heard the front door slam and the car start up.  
  
_Alone at last_ , he thought.  
  
First order of business? A well deserved nap. Alec fell face first onto the bed and was asleep in minutes.  
  
×  
  
Alec woke slowly and it took him a moment to orient himself - Clary's family cabin. It had gone dark while he'd slept, and he hadn't bothered to turn any of the lights on, so the cabin was pitch black. Alec looked out the window - no car, so that meant Jace and Clary still weren't back.  
  
He scrubbed his hands over his face. He'd have a shower to freshen up then head downstairs to throw something together for his supper.  
  
×  
  
Magnus let himself in by the back door. It had taken him longer than he'd expected to get to the cabin, so much so that by the time he got there night had fallen, and he was in desperate need of a shower and some food and a _big_ glass of wine... not necessarily in that order.  
  
He made his way upstairs and to his room. Technically it wasn't _his_ room as such, but it was the room he always used when he was here, so it kind of _was_ his. Walking into the room, he threw his bag on the bed, and was about to head into the shower when the bathroom door opened and steamed poured out.  
  
Magnus watched as Alec walked out with a towel slung low on his hips - one that left little to the imagination. This day is looking up, he thought. There was a very attractive guy who just came out of his shower looking absolutely edible. Damp dark hair fell over a pretty face and hazel eyes studied him dubiously.  
  
"Who the hell are you?"  
  
"I'm Mags - Magnus." He noted the flush working its way up the boy's body as Magnus continued to study him unapologetically.  
  
"No, you're not." Alec said definitely. "Mags is one of Clary's best friends and you are not a teenage girl."  
  
"Well that's really backwards thinking, isn't it? I'm a fair bit older than Clary; I knew her mother first then became besties with Clary. You would be Alexander, brother to Jace, though you wouldn't know it looking at you two."  
  
Alec relaxed a fraction but remained suspicious. "Yeah well, Jace is sorta adopted, in a way." He moved to the bureau to get some clothes out. "So... is there a reason you're in my room?"  
  
" _Your_ room?" Magnus laughed. "This is usually my room every time I've stayed here, but since you were here first..." He picked up his bag and walked to the door. "We could always share..." He shot Alec a cheeky smile and wink. When Alec stayed silent and just stared at him, he shrugged "Your loss. Of course if you change your mind..." Magnus called out as he walked away.  
  
Alec got dressed and made his way downstairs... he wanted supper. He stopped as he passed the only other bedroom with its door shut. Should he ask if Magnus wanted some food too? He hesitated, unsure what to do, then decided in the end to leave it be. It seemed like Magnus knew his way around just fine; he'd come down when he was good and ready.  
  
Alec cracked open a beer and began preparing supper. About 10 minutes had gone by before he heard footsteps and Magnus walked into the kitchen bringing with him the faint scent of sandalwood, and something darker and more elemental. The combination was heady.  
  
"That smells divine Alexander." Magnus sat across the island from him and watched Alec cook. "I admit, I'm surprised you know your way around a kitchen so well."  
  
Alec blushed slightly from the compliment. "It was a matter of self preservation. Our sister Izzy loves to cook, though cook is probably a very loose, and _generous_ term for what it is she does. Sorry, did you want a beer or something?"  
  
Magnus waved Alec aside. "I prefer wine. I'll get it, I know where everything is."  
  
For the next few moments they did their own thing in companionable silence; Alec dishing out supper while Magnus selected and opened a bottle of wine. He grabbed another bottle of beer from the fridge for Alec, popped it open, passed it to him.  
  
"Thanks." Alec gave him a shy crooked smile. "There's enough for both of us if you're hungry. It's just something I threw together, some wild rice, chicken and vegetables. Hope you're hungry." He brought the plates over to the table, sat down, and waited while Magnus took the seat across from him.  
  
Magnus stared at Alec over the rim of his wine glass. "I'm _starved_."  
  
"Um... Great. Well dig in, I guess." Alec wasn't sure how to take Magnus. It was like he was saying one thing but really meant another. It was confusing.  
  
They ate, talked, and laughed... and to Alec's surprise he enjoyed himself - sharing a meal and conversation with someone who wasn't a family member; It was a change for him. Alec felt like he could spend hours talking to Magnus, exchanging stories about their lives, or just listening to Magnus talk about whatever... It was nice to feel so comfortable with someone. The only other person he came this close to being himself with was Jace; of course that was because Jace was his brother. His feelings towards Magnus, on the other hand, didn't feel at all brotherly.  
  
Magnus gathered up their dishes and pushed back from the table. "That, Alexander, was lovely. Thank you." He had his hand on Alec's shoulder and gave it a little squeeze as he was walking by. "So where are the lovebirds?"  
  
Alec shook himself back and berated himself for putting too much thought into a simple gesture. "They uh- they went into town I think? Dinner, drinks, the whole couple thing."  
  
"Let me guess... you stayed here because you didn't want to be a spare part?" Magnus laughed as Alec shrugged. "So why didn't you bring someone along, then it'd be like a couples getaway?  
  
"There's no-one." Alec mumbled the words.  
  
"No-one? At all?" Magnus was surprised. "I find that hard to believe... you seem to be quite the catch."  
  
"I dunno... maybe there's something fundamentally wrong with me. I look at Jace and Clary, my parents, even Izzy and her boy of the week... and I realise I've never experienced that sort of connection with another person like they have. Maybe I'm just not meant to." Alec was shocked; It wasn't like him to share, let alone _over_ share. He took a long swig of his beer.  
  
"Alexander." Magnus wanted to comfort him, take that sadness out of his eyes, tell the boy how much he deserved to be loved. But in that moment they heard car doors slam, followed by the front door, and lots of laughing. Magnus could visibly see Alec withdraw and was sorry for it.  
  
"MAGS!" Clary screamed his name and ran to him, enveloped him in a hard hug. She began talking fast, her worlds tumbling over each other, and gesturing widely with her arms.  
  
Alec saw how Jace just looked at her with a sappy smile on his face as Magnus and her caught up. That's what he wanted; he wanted someone to look at _him_ like that, he wanted to have someone to look at like that. But he'd just have to settle for being a son and a big brother. He had to be happy with that. Some things just weren't meant to be. And it wasn't like he was miserable... he was content. Maybe true happiness would elude him but he _was_ content and he'd settle for that.  
  
Alec slipped out quietly and left them to catch up. He went up to his room, grabbed one of his books, and decided he'd lounge on the swing and lose himself in a story. He heard footsteps on the decking and saw Jace round the corner.  
  
"Alec. Honestly... you gotta stop living such an exciting life." He passed his brother one of the two beers he brought out with him and leaned against the porch rail to study Alec. "So what did you get up to while we were gone?"  
  
They filled each other in on their respective days; they joked and laughed, and sat drinking their beer in comfortable silence. Hanging out with his brother, his best friend, was _much_ better than a book.

×

Clary and Magnus joined them after a while, and the brothers exchanged stories with the best friends. Alec was pleasantly surprised to find he was enjoying himself; surprised at the pang of disappointment when Jace and Clary decided to turn in for the night. He waited for Magnus to leave as well but instead Magnus gestured to the swing Alec was sitting on. "Mind the company? Or would you rather be left alone?"  
  
Alec realised he didn't mind; he didn't want to be alone. More than that... he wanted Magnus' company. The easy and relaxed mood he was in was slowly being replaced by something more exciting. He was no longer sleepy, instead he felt revved, and like it was an electrical current was travelling just under his skin. He didn't understand why he had this reaction to Magnus; he'd never felt anything like it before.  
  
Was this... _was_ this what it felt like to be attracted to someone? His heart was beating faster, he had butterflies in his stomach, and he was hyper-aware of Magnus - his scent wrapped around Alec like a lover, and although they barely touched as Magnus rested his arm across the back of the swing, his skin hummed.  
  
He turned to face Magnus. "So. What's your story?" Alec was looking at Magnus, studying the features of his face, and his gaze unconsciously lingered on Magnus' lips. They looked so soft. And they were almost, almost, close enough. All Alec had to do was move in just a little... He wondered how Magnus would taste. Like the wine he'd enjoyed all evening? Or something more exotic?  
  
When those gorgeous lips curved, Alec snapped out of his reverie, found Magnus staring at him with a knowing smile. "Curious, Alexander? Do you wonder what it'd be like?" Magnus' voice was soft, almost barely audible, and he moved just a tiny bit closer to Alec.  
  
"I uh..." Alec swallowed. He couldn't tear his gaze away from Magnus, those lips, and those eyes that seemed like he could lose himself in.  
  
Magnus stayed very still. He wanted, oh how he wanted to move in, but it _had_ to be Alexander's choice. Magnus knew exactly who he was, but he suspected Alec wasn't yet sure who he wanted to be, and he wouldn't - _couldn't_ \- take that step for Alec.  
  
Alec stared into Magnus' eyes. He had a choice to make... for once in his life, for the first time in his life, he needed to decide whether to take a risk and take something for himself or to go on as he'd always done - and let chances pass him by. He _wanted_ this. Before he could convince himself otherwise or talk himself out of it, Alec leaned in and took Magnus' lips in a soft kiss.  
  
He pulled back, and Magnus watched him silently, waiting. Then Alec was going back for more - his hands were in Magnus' hair, on his face, and Alec was kissing Magnus as if he needed it to live as much as breathing. He could taste the wine on Magnus' tongue, taste the meal they'd shared, and something that he could only assume was uniquely Magnus.  
  
Alec tore his lips from Magnus'. He was breathless and his heart was racing. He stood up, walked to the porch rail, and stared out into the night. Try as he might he couldn't seem to get his breathing under control.  
  
Magnus wasn't so steady himself. He'd kissed his fair share of people, and been kissed back, but that... _that_ was new; it was different and it was amazing. For someone who was relatively inexperienced, be it with men or women, boy could Alexander kiss.  
  
Before either of them could make a move the side door opened and Jace stepped out. "You guys still up?"  
  
Jace seemed oblivious to the sexual tension in the air and Alec could only be thankful. He couldn't possibly explain to his brother what he was feeling when he had no clue himself. He needed to think. Jace would certainly say he often did too much thinking and not enough living, and he wasn't wrong. But this had been a big step for him. And he had no clue what to do now. So he would think. And evaluate. How was he supposed to make sense of all these feelings, and wants, and needs that had been awakened inside him?  
  
"We were just heading up actually."  
  
Magnus raised an eyebrow and looked at Alec questioningly. "So we were." He got up, waited as Jace retreated back inside, gestured Alec in.  
  
Upstairs Jace turned to go to his and Clary's room, bid them both a whispered goodnight and a warning that Clary had big plans for all of them tomorrow.  
  
They went down the other side of the corridor. Magnus stopped in front of his room and looked silently at Alec.  
  
_Screw_ it, Alec thought. He could think and evaluate until his brains bled of his ears... _tomorrow_. "There's plenty of space in my room." He waited for Magnus to take the hand he held out, then pulled him to the room, and for the first time in his life he locked his bedroom door.  
  
×  
  
Sunlight filtered through the open curtains. Alec turned away from the window, cursed himself for forgetting to pull the blinds down, and he opened his eyes to see Magnus sleeping... next to him. In his bed.  
  
He recalled the night before. He'd taken a huge step for him and asked Magnus to stay in his room. They'd kissed, then talked about their lives - how Magnus ended up basically being a part of Clary's family because of her mom Jocelyn, how Alec had come to have Jace for his brother after Jace's father had passed away. They'd found out things they had in common, and things they didn't quite share the same views on. They'd laughed, shushed each other when they got too loud, kissed some more and some time in the night had finally fallen asleep.  
  
It was strange to wake up next to someone. It was a new but not unpleasant feeling. And all these feelings he had building inside him for the man sleeping next to him... what was he supposed to do?  
  
Magnus stirred next to him and stretched luxuriously. "I thought I couldn't enjoy this bed any more than I did before... turns out I was wrong." He smiled sleepily at Alec.  
  
Suddenly there was a loud thump followed by a curse. "Alec? Alec what the _hell_ , why is your door locked? _Alec_!"  
  
They both scrambled up from the bed and Alec shooed Magnus into the bathroom.  
  
"What the hell. Magnus is up and God knows where doing what and _why_ is your damn door locked?" Jace banged on the door.  
  
Alec yanked the door open. Jace eyed him suspiciously but was stopped from saying more as Clary came down the corridor.  
  
"Jace leave Alec alone. C'mon, lets go into town and bring back some breakfast. I want pancakes!" She pulled Jace along and shoved him forward, then ran back to Alec, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Don't worry, Jace hasn't got a clue. Tell Mags I'll get him his favourite coffee." Then she ran off and downstairs.  
  
Alec shut the door and turned to face Magnus and they both burst into laughter. "This is nice. It's new for me..."  
  
Magnus walked to Alec and took his hand. "It's new for me too. I may have been with my fair share of people but I've never felt for them what I'm starting to feel for you."  
  
Alec looked down at their joined hands. "I... I didn't think I would ever feel like this; that I would ever find someone who stirred such feelings inside me. I guess I just never found the right person... until you."  
  
Magnus didn't know what to say to that.  
  
"I wanna see you Magnus... I wanna see where this takes us. I wanna spend time with you, when we're back in the city, when we're _home_."  
  
Magnus kissed him lightly. "I'd like that very much, Alexander. But for now I think we need to take advantage of having the place all to ourselves..." He pushed Alec back onto the bed they'd shared.


	2. I'm gonna make you bend and break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> % implication of non-con/rape & abuse and possible suicide attempt %
> 
> ×
> 
> Those green eyes laughed at him. "Yes of course... but that's what he used to call you. And you were more than happy to let him, if I recall." His fingers began tapping a frenzied rhythm on the desk, a sign Alec knew from experience meant that he was one short step from getting upset, and that wouldn't be good for anyone... least of all him. 
> 
> "So I will call you whatever I damn well please. And you'll like it. Or have you already forgotten our agreement? It would be a shame if something were to happen to your parents or Isabelle, or Jace, or Max... or even him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE shout-out to ConeyIslandBlitz for all your help and guidance!  
> I couldn't have written this without you X
> 
> \---
> 
> Title taken from "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" by Fall Out Boy
> 
> \---
> 
> Twitter: @binksybane

Misery loves company.

Alec scoffed at that. The only company he wanted was a decent bottle of bourbon to drown his sorrows in. Except that there wasn't enough alcohol in the world to help him get over what had happened... what was _happening_. He'd had something amazing; something some people only dream of. And he'd royally fucked it up.

His thoughts brought him back to a weekend spent in a cabin nearly 5 months ago. The weekend that had changed his life; where he had discovered himself, and where he had found love. A love that had continued to grow when they had come back to New York... Magnus and him had been happy; they'd been building a life with each other and making plans for their future.

How had it all gone so wrong?

He'd pushed the love of his life away, had said mean and nasty things, and watched as his words had cut his boyfriend deep. Alec had made the only man whom he'd ever loved hate him and it had been for Magnus' own good.

And now here he was, sat in some seedy dive bar, drinking his problems away... or at least trying to. He didn't have Magnus' loft to go back to, nor did he have his childhood home where his parents and siblings still lived, all he had was a prison.

And he had no choice but to go back.

Alec knocked back the rest of his drink. He pushed back from the bar, dug in his pocket for some notes, and dropped them beside his empty glass.

He stood outside in the cold and contemplated - take a cab or walk; either way he'd end up in the same place, but he could rush or take his time about it. Or maybe he could just step into traffic and hope to be put out of his misery.

Alec sighed. Walk it is then.

×

He used the keys that were given to him and let himself into the apartment. If not for the fact that this place was his personal hell it would have made for a nice home - if not for the fact that the doorman of the building gets paid to also keep tabs on Alec. Less of a home, he thought, and more of a prison.

He suppose he should be thankful... he had a good life, in a sadistic, fucked up kind of way. He had a well-paying job in an industry he loved, he had a roof over his head - albeit an extravagant one, and one he hated - and his family was safe and sound... as far as he knew. That was the most important thing.

Alec could, and _would_ , deal with as much shit as was necessary - as long as his family was safe. He'd alienated his parents, Izzy, and Jace... All he had were grainy pictures, purposely taken in low quality, of those he loved; that was as much proof as he was going to get that they were unharmed. He wasn't allowed to see them, speak to them, or attempt to see them for himself from afar... because if he was caught then for sure his family would suffer.

As long as he followed the rules, and he stayed in a drunken haze most of the evenings and weekends at home, time seemed to go by quicker.

"Alexander, you're home." The voice came from the study. He could ignore it but what would be the point? He'd just suffer for it later. The more he tried to fight it, the worse it was, so he'd learned to live with it... He didn't have to like it, but he'd live with it, and hope for the best.

Alec walked into the study, faced the man he shared the apartment with, and the man he had left Magnus for.

Bottle-green eyes dominated a striking face. He had cause to know those eyes could be warm - on rare occasions - and brutally cold, or filled with a malevolent kind of glee.

"Alec. My name is Alec."

Those green eyes laughed at him. "Yes of course... but that's what _he_ used to call you. And you were more than happy to let him, if I recall." His fingers began tapping a frenzied rhythm on the desk, a sign Alec knew from experience meant that he was one short step from getting upset, and that wouldn't be good for anyone... least of all him.

"So I will call you whatever I damn well please. And you'll _like_ it. Or have you already forgotten our agreement? It would be a shame if something were to happen to your parents or Isabelle, or Jace, or Max... or even _him_."

Alec's heart lurched in his chest. The threat to his loved ones always filled him with such a huge terror, and he had to curb the instinct to eliminate the threat, because that wouldn't go down well. "I remember."

"Very good." The man stood up, rounded the desk to stand behind Alec, and placed his hands on Alec's shoulders. "We've got dinner reservations with Dad, best get going before we're late."

Alec had to check the urge to shudder. Every time he was touched by the man he wanted to cringe, but he had a part to play, and he had to play it well... for everyone's sake.

Right now he had a dinner engagement... and all he had to do was stomach food while in the company of Sebastian Morgenstern and his father, Valentine.

×

 

Could a person actually die of boredom? Magnus was trying desperately to tune out Camille's non-stop chattering - Jesus Christ, did the woman _never_ shut up? And all she talked about was herself. Maybe he would end up dying of boredom; death by dullness. Why had he even agreed to go out tonight? He could be home now, lounging around with a good book, or brooding... not stuck here pushing his food around on a plate, pretending to eat, while his 'date' attempted to talk him to death.

"- and isn't that the guy you used to date? Alex?"

"Alec," Magnus corrected automatically, without thinking. "Wait, what?"

For the first time that night Camille had Magnus' full attention. " _What_ did you say?"

Camille pouted. "You've barely paid any attention to me all night, but the minute you hear Alex's name, suddenly you're so interested in what I have to say?"

" _Alec._ " Magnus tried to hold on patience. "His name is Alec. Camille... tell me what you meant or I swear on all things Holy-"

She fluttered her hands in the air between them. "Oh don't get your panties in a bunch. I was saying that he just came in, with Valentine and his son, Sebastian. They went to one of the private dining rooms in the back."

Magnus grabbed her wrist. "You're sure?"

Camille pushed at him. "Yes! You know what Bane, I'm done. Don't ever call me again." She grabbed her purse and left in a huff.

Magnus barely noticed her departure. He headed straight for the back of the restaurant.

"Excuse me, sir. _Sir!_ You can't go back there." A member of staff blocked his path. So close, Magnus thought.

Magnus remembered himself. It was a good thing really; what had he been planning to do, barge in on their dinner and... What exactly? "Of course. Sorry. Could you tell me who Mr. Morgenstern has for his dinner guests please?"

The waiter tried for a haughty look. "Sir, I'm afraid i can't -"

Magnus pulled out some bills, counted out a couple hundred, and waved it in his face. "Ok lets' try again. Can you please tell me who Mr. Morgenstern's dinner guests are?" Magnus could see the struggle between money and morals.

The man dropped his voice to a whisper. "Okay okay. But you can't mention this to _anyone_." He went to the appointment book, flipped through, and came back to Magnus. "He has reservations with his son, Sebastian, and one Mr. Alexander Lightwood.

Magnus held on to his composure. "Thank you, you've been a great help." He left the waiter, pulled out his phone, and sent out a mass text.

 

_**Meet me at the loft... I've got some news.** _

×

Magnus paced in his apartment as he waited for his guests to arrive. When he heard the knock on his door, he rushed to it, and yanked it open.

"What took you so long?!?"

"Hey, cool your jets." Jace stepped in, followed by Clary, and Izzy. It had been a while since the four of them had been together like this; it was too painful for Magnus to be around Jace and Izzy and he was sure it was the same for them.

But this was important.

"So what's this big news of yours?" Izzy dropped down on Magnus' couch.

"I saw Alexander last night."

Jace grabbed his arm. "What do you mean you _saw_ Alec? Where, what was he -"

Magnus yanked his arm away, stalked to his liquor cabinet, poured a large neat drink. "I was out last night, with Camille, and she-"

"You were out with _Camille_?" This from Clary who sounded completely unimpressed.

Magnus glared at her but made no move to reply. "I didn't actually see him, she did. I bribed the maître d'; turns out one Alexander Lightwood was a guest of Valentine and his son."

Jace shook his head. "No." He stalked away and then back. " _No._ Alec wouldn't have left us to be with them." He refused to believe it.

"I agree." Magnus said quietly. "I think he's in trouble."

"Then we'll find a way to help him." Izzy looked to her brother, then Clary, and back at Magnus. She nodded when she got their assent. "Now, what's the plan?"

×

Alec was exhausted. Physically he felt great but his mind felt like it had been through the ringer; it seemed like this was how it was going to be for the foreseeable future. This past weekend had taken a lot out of him... but then spending an evening with the Morgensterns would do that to a person.

And now he was sat in his office in the Morgenstern building... when what he should be doing was sitting in his family office building, working with his father, then going home to his siblings and spending his weekends with Magnus. Alec stood up and paced his office like the caged animal he felt like.

He needed to get out... he was terrified he'd lose his mind if he didn't. Alec grabbed his jacket, called out to his secretary that he was going out for a long lunch, and tried to escape the hell that was now his life.

Alec made his way downtown, as far from the office building as he could, and ducked into a nondescript bar. He picked a table at the far end, in a dark corner, and nursed his drink. He paid no attention to the people coming and going... until the other chairs at his table scraped back. He looked up, ready to fire off a demand to be left alone, but could say nothing when he saw his siblings, Clary, and Magnus. Even in a dingy bar Magnus managed to look beautiful... it made his heart hurt.

"Great I really _am_ seeing things now." He scrubbed his hands over his face. But when he opened his eyes again they were still there. He reached out a hand, tentatively touched Izzy's on the table, and pulled back his hand like he'd been shocked. "You're real. You're real."

Alec kept chanting the words, even when he had Izzy in his arms, and he was breathing in the familiar scent of her hair. Suddenly without knowing who made the first move he was holding Magnus, and for a small moment, his world was right again.

Then the bubble burst and he pushed them away. "No no no, you can't be here. You have to go, now."

Jace continued staring at his brother. "And why can't we be here Alec? Why are you pushing us away and where the hell have you been the last few months?" It had hurt to see Alec come out of Valentine's office building - the brother he knew would never have gone to work for the competition... but Alec had gone to work for the enemy. Jace just couldn't get his head around it.

"Please please _please_ , you need to go... before someone sees you here with me!" Alec's voice radiated desperation.

"So you don't mind being seen with the Morgensterns but you can't be seen with your family, is that it?" Jace shoved Alec back a full step.

Alec jerked back as if he he'd been struck. He acknowledged the hurt and betrayal on his brother's face. He knew only one way to ensure that his family didn't attempt to look for him again. "Look, just leave me alone, please. Don't try to find me; I'm living my life, you need to get on with yours." With that he stormed out of the bar, making sure nobody followed him.

×

"Look, he made it clear he doesn't want to have anything to do with us."

"Honestly Jace, how can you see the way he was and believe that?" Izzy wanted to knock her brother over the head.

"I know him the least out of all of you, so maybe I've got the most objective view..." Clary looked at Jace. "I don't think he chose to do any of this, not willingly. He genuinely looked afraid, Jace."

"We'll figure it out. Whatever trouble he's in, we'll get him out of it." For the first time in a while Magnus started to feel better. If Alec had done and said those things because he'd had to? The man that had just held him had been the man he'd fallen in love with... and not the one that had walked out on him.

×

Alec jerked awake when he heard the front door slam. The he heard a crash, followed by a loud bang and glass shattering... and he knew it was going to be a bad night. He could only hope that Sebastian was angry enough to forget that Alec was there and he'd he spared the wrath of the devil incarnate.

But when his bedroom door slammed open he knew he knew his luck was out. "You _know_ , Alexander, it would be nice to be greeted by my bitch when I get home."

Alec knew he wasn't weak; He could take Sebastian, he was angry enough. But when Sebastian was in one of his rages it was best to ride it out and hope for the best. These spells of anger were more often than not bolstered by drink and Sebastian's drug of choice for the night.

He sat up slowly in his bed. "Bad day at the office?"

Sebastian grabbed him, yanked Alec off the bed. "You know what... you need to start pulling your weight in this arrangement." He pulled off his tie, tossed it on the floor, and then toed off his shoes. "I think it's time we took our _relationship_ to the next level."

Alec thought he had felt every kind of fear there was to feel. But when Sebastian slammed his bedroom door shut, and he heard the lock on it click, Alec knew there was another kind of terror; a deep, elemental, primal kind of fear.

×

Some point in the night Sebastian must have had enough, or got bored, and finally left Alec alone in his room. He stayed absolutely still; there was this fear in him that Sebastian would come back and he'd... Alec squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't think about it. Relief poured through him when he heard the front door of the apartment slam shut.

Alec didn't know how long he just lay there. Aches were making their presence on his body known and he felt absolutely battered. He pushed himself up and went to his closet and dug around for some clothes... and the bottle of bourbon he kept hidden there. He snuck into Sebastian's room and rummaged around in the bedside drawers. He scanned the labels on the pill bottles - some were for chronic pain, some were sleeping aids, and others he assumed helped Sebastian maintain what little grip he had on reality.

One thing you knew for sure living with a psychopath was that there were enough drugs - prescription and otherwise - in the apartment to make Alec forget what had just happened to him. Combine that with alcohol and Alec figured it would be a miracle if he remembered his own name. He grabbed as many as bottles as he could carry and locked himself in his room. He picked a bottle at random, down the contents with bourbon, chose more pills. And for added measure he took a handful of sleeping pills and chased those with more bourbon. Alec wanted to forget this night, put everything that had happened out of his mind, and if took drugs and alcohol to do it... then so be it. Desperate times, desperate measures. Maybe he'd wake up tomorrow and it would all have been a horrible nightmare.

Alec needed oblivion. He needed to forget, to switch his mind off, and just escape from reality. He was just so _tired_... and thankfully the pain was subsiding. He was feeling lighter; in mind, and heart and body. He just needed to sleep, that was all. And as he drifted off into unconsciousness induced by alcohol and drugs, in a bid to protect his sanity, his mind brought him back to a cabin in the woods... and Magnus.

×

Luke Garroway waited for someone to pick up his call. This wasn't going to be an easy phone call, but then again, most of the ones he had to make on the job never were. He would have preferred to have this conversation in person, but he couldn't risk leaving the hospital yet, so a phone call would have to suffice.

In the office in his home, Robert Lightwood picked up the phone, answered distractedly. "Hello."

"Rob, it's Luke. I have some news."

Robert's confusion came over the phone line clearly. "Luke? What news? Is Maryse alright? Did something happen with Izzy, Jace?"

"No no they're fine. It's uh... it's Alec, Rob."

There was a long pause. "Alec? Is he in trouble?"

"Not exactly. He was brought into the hospital last night... The housekeeper found him, Sebastian Morgenstern's apartment, and called it in. He'd taken a bunch of pills." Luke had to speak up to be heard over Robert's sudden barrage of questions. "Robert, stop!"

Silence fell once again. Luke imagined Robert was trying to calm himself.

"He's okay." Luke continued. "They got to him in time, pumped everything out of his system. We've got the housekeeper in questioning, and the team is collecting evidence from where they found him, and I've got a BOLO out for Sebastian."

"Oh sweet Jesus what do I tell Maryse, the kids?" 

"All of you should come to the hospital, he'll need his family when he wakes up." Luke sighed. "He's in bad shape, Robert. Prepare yourselves."

Luke hung up. That had been one of the more difficult calls he'd had to make; but he reminded himself that he called to tell them Alec had been  _found_ , alive, and he hadn't been calling them to say they'd lost a child. 

×

Luke passed Maryse Lightwood a cup of crappy hospital coffee... possibly the one other place on earth that could give cop house coffee a run for its money.

"Maryse, sit down."

She shook her head. "No. Just tell me, please." She looked at her family gathered outside Alec's hospital room.

Luke sighed. He forgot how stubborn she could be. "He's in pretty bad shape, but the doctors are saying that he is really lucky. They got to him in time and because they knew what he'd taken, they were able to start on him right away."

Maryse was fighting back tears. "Why would he do this Luke? Why would he try to kill himself?"

He didn't know how to comfort her... and he hadn't even got to the worst bits yet. "There's more, Maryse."

She looked up at him with tearful eyes. "More?"

Luke went to her and took her hands in his. "He has bruises on his face, wrists, and over a lot of his body." He knew from past experience with victims' families that it was better to do it quick, like pulling off a Band-Aid, but it didn't make it any easier. "There were also signs of sexual assault."

Maryse jerked back. "No. No no no no no no, my poor baby boy!"

Luke held on to her as she wept against him. He caught Robert's eyes from across the hall. When Robert reached Luke and Maryse, Luke had no choice but to tell him what he'd just told Maryse, and he watched, heartbroken, as Robert fought for composure, fought to be strong for his wife and his family.

He felt utterly useless. As a cop he knew there was no point in feeling guilty - the best he could do was provide justice for the family. But this was different; this was harder. He'd been there when Alec had been born, and he'd watched the boy grow into a man, and now the image of Alec lying motionless in a hospital bed flashed into his mind.

“You find the bastard that did this, Luke.”

He nodded at Robert. He didn’t have to find the bastard... he knew who the hell it was. And he would pay.  
  
Perks of being lieutenant meant that he could devote as much time and resources to Alec’s case as was needed. He had the DNA samples that the nurses had collected from Alec and Sebastian Morgenstern’s prescription pills – it wasn't strictly an open-and-shut case, but he had enough to arrest Sebastian. In an ideal world Alec would give a statement and bolster the case they were building... but he'd rather not have Alec go through it all again. So he would do what he did best and he would put Sebastian in a cage for the rest of his life. 

He heard his name as he walked down the corridor and turned to see Magnus rushing up to him.

"Luke. I wanted to speak with you."

Luke studied Magnus. The man who was usually impeccably dressed, and perfectly groomed, now look worn around the edges and like he hadn't slept in a week. "Magnus. He said by way of greeting.

"Can you tell me... please. Tell me what happened. Whatever you know." Magnus looked at him pleadingly.

"Magnus you know I can't give you any details about an ongoing investigation." He watched Magnus' face fall. "But - and you didn't hear this from me - I  _can_ say that we know who did this to Alec and we -  _I_ \- have enough to arrest him." Luke paused and debated whether to tell Magnus everything that had happened to Alec. Robert and Maryse had made the decision not to tell Jace and Isabelle so was it really his place to divulge the information to Magnus? But before he could make a decision there was a commotion and they both turned around to see what was happening - doctors and nurses were rushing into Alec's room. Robert had to hold his family back, and let the medics do their work.

Izzy broke away from her family and ran up to Magnus. "He's awake! Alec is _awake_!"

Luke gave Magnus a bolstering pat on the back. "Trust me to do my job." He left them to go do just that.

Magnus hung back and waited while Alec's family took turns going in to see him. Maryse came to stand beside him as he watched and waited while Izzy had her time with Alec. She put her hand on his arm and when she spoke her voice was soft and comforting.

"Thank you for being here, I know how important he is to you, and you to him. Magnus there's something you need to know before you see Alec." Maryse told him everything they knew - from the ligature marks on his neck and wrists, to the bruise blooming on his face; what doctors think was probably a fist (or two), and down to the sexual assault he suffered. "You should go see him." Maryse urged him to Alec's room when Izzy came out.

Despite being told what had happened to Alec nothing could have prepared him to actually  _see_ the bruises and marks. Alec's eyes were closed when he went in, and Magnus almost left, thinking he had fallen asleep. 

"Mags." Alec's voice was raspy and so soft that Magnus had to lean over the bed to hear him properly.

"Oh Alec, thank the heavens you're alive!" He'd promised himself he wouldn't cry; Alec needed him to be strong. But his emotions got the better of him and he wept - consumed by the roller coaster of emotions they'd all gone through the last two days since Alec had been brought into the hospital.

"Shhh I'm okay, don't cry, I'm okay." Alec tried to comfort Magnus as best as he could. 

×

"I want to do this." Alec argued. He was back in his home, in his room, with his parents by his bedside. He'd had time to heal, physically, and the bruises were fading. Emotionally it was going to be a long road, but he had his family, and hopefully after this he'd have Magnus (still, again)... but to start mending his mind and soul he  _needed_ to do this one thing.

Maryse shook her head. "Alec... are you sure? No-one would judge you if you decided not to. Sebastian is behind bars; you don't have to do this."

Alec sighed. "Mom, please. This is something I have to do, to help me heal and move on from all of this."

And so they all gathered around Alec in the living room - his parents and siblings (minus Max), Clary, Magnus, and Luke. Alec only wanted to go through the whole ordeal  _once_ and then he wanted to never speak of it again - he wanted to move on with his life. 

So Alec started at the beginning - when Valentine had come to him with a job offer that he'd naturally declined; and then in the weeks that followed Robert had confided in Alec that their clients, both old and new, had been getting antsy and they'd lost a couple of major ones. And so left with no choice he'd taken Valentine up on the job offer. And then Sebastian had seen Alec with Magnus, and naturally, what Magnus had he also had to have. Sebastian knew Alec wasn't going to just leave Magnus... so Alec had received a package in the mail; a stack of photographs of his family - His parents leaving the office together one evening, Izzy out with her girlfriends, Clary and Jace having a meal at a restaurant, and Magnus entering his apartment building. It would be so easy for something to happen to them, it was so easy to get to them, and all it would take to keep them safe was to leave Magnus and move in with Sebastian. 

What other choice had he had? Valentine and Sebastian had friends in high places, and friends in not so nice places, and he just couldn't risk those he loved. So he'd left his family company, his family home, his family and lover... and he'd gone to live with Sebastian. Alec told them of the day that they had followed him from the office into that bar. He faltered when he started to tell them what Sebastian had done that night, but with the silent support of his family, he was able to carry on. It was easier to tell them of the alcohol afterwards, and the pills, and how he genuinely didn't know if he'd meant to (try to) kill himself. Alec had given Luke more than what he'd need to have Sebastian locked up forever. 

×

Alec was tired, emotionally and mentally. Telling the entire story start to finish had taken its toll - but he felt better now that everything was out in the open. Throughout the telling of it he'd avoided looking at Magnus... he was terrified that Magnus would never look at him the same way again; that they'd never be able to get past what Sebastian had done. And could he really blame Magnus? 

Alec looked up at the knock on his bedroom door and saw Magnus standing on the threshold. "Hi."

"Hi back." Magnus rounded the bed to sit by the edge and faced Alec.

"I uh, I haven't apologised for everything I said, everything I did." Alec picked at the duvet cover restlessly. "I'm so sorry Mags."

"Alexander, don't. Don't you dare apologise for what that vile man did to you, to your family, to us.  _None_ of it was, or is, your fault. Nobody blames you for any of it."

Even though Alec  _knew_ that to be true, hearing it from Magnus had a weight lifted, one he barely knew he'd carried. He'd been in emotional turmoil for so long he forgot what it felt like to be otherwise.

When Magnus took his hand Alec could do no more than stare at him. He looked down at their joined hands then back up at Magnus. "Magnus you don't have to- I know you probably don't want- after what happened..." Alec trailed off. He couldn't have butchered that more if he'd tried.

Magnus didn't let go of Alec's hand but leaned in for a kiss. "Alexander." He touched his forehead to Alec's and just stayed there for a little while. He pulled back and stared into those beautiful hazel eyes. "I love you Alexander... I never stopped. I couldn't. I tried to hate you but it just isn't possible." He kissed Alec again. "I thought I couldn't love you more than I did. But I was wrong."

Alec was stunned speechless.

"You put your family, and me, before your own happiness; your own health and safety. You amaze me Alec; your strength, your will, and your absolutely loyalty to those you love... I am so proud of you." Magnus thumbed away the tear that rolled down Alec's face.

"Mags. I never thought I'd be free of him, I  _never_ thought I'd ever be able to sit my own home again, and I honestly thought I'd lost you forever." Alec shifted to lie down and lay his head on Magnus' lap, seeking comfort. 

"No such thing Alexander. You're safe now, and I'm not going anywhere." Magnus stroked Alec's hair and whispered sweet nothings to his boyfriend as Alec fell asleep.

×

For the first time in months Alec slept peacefully and without dreams and nightmares chasing him. He was home, his family was safe, and he was back in the arms of the man he loved... and who loved him. He was far from over everything that had happened to him; but he was already feeling so much better, and that was a start.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Heat of the Moment" by Asia
> 
> AU Malec, inspired by Matt's character Jeff in Cabin Fever (2016)
> 
> \---
> 
> Twitter: @binksybane


End file.
